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nintendo would have prevented this

so, my knocked-up sister was barfing a lot recently and had to go to the hospital to be treated for dehydration. b/c she has never heard of pedialyte, or something. anypukey, geeg was all bent out of shape over how i was not aware of this fact and how i was not incredibly alarmed, and she commenced a lecture on how i should be nicer to my sister, b/c if something serious ever happened to her i would remember all of the terrible things i did to her in my misguided youth and i would be haunted by those memories forever.

so, i think of the “mistreatment” i administered to my sister (1. gluing tinfoil to the walls of the closet and shoving her in there w/ the light on, telling her we were playing spaceship but actually hoping she would cook; 2. during snowy winter times: making her walk in the road when we walked to the bus stop for school by convincing her that she was the “brown sugar fairy” and that otherwise she would die a horrible death; 3. sprinkling a mixture of sugar and glitter on her head and encouraging her to think of happy things and jump off of things in the house by telling her we were playing peter pan (a game that ended when my dad walked into the kitchen just in time to catch her as she attempted to leap off the top of the fridge hollering “cookies!”); 4. when forced to play w/ her (by geeg, naturally) telling her we were playing school and making her “eat” a large bowl of water w/ a baby spoon; 5. mummifying her in toilet-paper and pushing her around the house in a laundry basket (nope, i don’t remember what game that was supposed to be) while she protested that she could not breathe; 6. convincing her that tinkerbell was real by shining a small flashlight around the room and jingling some change) and all i can remember are some fun times. i don’t know what geeg is talking about. clearly, homegirl is getting old.

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there is maintenance being performed on the fridge in the office. it is one of those uber-annoying models that beeps at you if you have either the fridge or freezer doors open too long. the guys performing the maintenance took the freezer door completely off, and left, about 15 minutes ago. no, i have no idea when they are coming back, and YES, i want to kill myself already.

btw

we’re having another bake sale tomorrow, b/c last week’s Breakup Bakeup was so fantastic. also, b/c it is still so wonderful outside. also, b/c i think i just want to quit my job and have bake sales forever.

anybadidea, instead of giving the cash to tati to get a rubdown or a jug of wine or whatever, we’re going to send our proceeds to obama & biden to help them out, perhaps w/ the disclaimer that this cash should also buy lauren’s removal from the calling lists, b/c seriously…she gets called every day. no one calls me, i have bad phone manners.

cruel & unusual punishment

last night i was having a very violent nightmare, and i woke myself up so suddenly that i must have spasmed w/ the effort, and i slammed my left hand into the bracket that supports my bedside shelf. i broke the skin, and the wound is very tender. everytime i put pressure on it i am reminded of what i was dreaming about, which doesn’t really seem fair…